The purpose of this visit is to determine the quality of customer service at Jackie’s Pleasure Pit. Please follow all instructions carefully. Do not let the hostess, manager or whore know that you are a Mystery Shopper.
Go to Jackie’s Pleasure Pit on an evening during the week, sometime between 6/18/01 – 6/22/01. Wear casual clothes and a wedding ring. Bring along $100 (you will be reinbursed for this, as well as for your travel expenses and medical attention, if any).
Knock on the back door of the address provided (see attachment) and, when the hostess opens the door, say “Ashcroft sent me”. You will be escorted inside. The hostess should offer the special of the evening, and then bring forth the available ladies. Select one and accompany her to her room. Use the bathroom first, and check for cleanliness. Once you are in her room, engage in oral sex and then intercourse. Afterwards, tip your whore and then leave. Be certain to log your times and expenses, and then fill out the form below.
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What day/time did you attend?
Did the hostess greet you with a smile and appreciative leer?
Were you mugged at this point?
Did the hostess offer you the specialty of the evening?
How long did you wait between your arrival and the introduction of the available whores?
Were the whores in good health? Clean? Attractive? Well-kept?
Did the whores possess all of their own teeth? 80%? 60%?
When you selected one, did she smile? Sigh resignedly? Spit and utter curses skywards?
Did your whore speak English: Fluently? Reasonably well? Barely? Enough for simple verbs?
Were the hallways clean and presentable? Any visible bloodstains or structural damage?
Were you mugged at this point?
Were you able to find the bathroom?
Was the bathroom clean and presentable? Was there visible evidence of drug use or body disposal? Be specific.
Were you able to immediately distinguish between the sink and the toilet?
Was there an “Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Returning to Work” sign prominently displayed?
Was your whore waiting in her bedroom?
Were you mugged at this point?
When you disrobed, how did she react?
___ Seductive appreciation
___ An “ehh, could be worse” expression
___ Cries to various catholic saints for guidance
___ Barely concealed derision
___ Concern
Was the oral sex competently delivered?
What time did she begin fellating you?
How did she proceed?
___ With gusto, like there was chocolate in there
___ With practiced repetitive efficiency, like one of those water-drinking bird toys
___ With barely contained disgust, like you were pumping out pint after pint of warm bacon grease
___ With terrified compliance, like someone with a pair of pliers was watching and judging
When she stopped, did she smile pleasantly? Wink? Grimace? Vomit?
Was her “crib” clean and presentable?
Describe her unclothed body:
___ Like unto a goddess, briefly touch’d on this mortal coil
___ Not bad, little stanky
___ Two-bagger
___ I’m pretty sure she was a dude
Did she initiate sexual intercourse, or did she only begin after you begged?
How was it, man?
Were you mugged at this point?
What time did you begin?
Were you seated promptly and cheerfully?
What time did you finish?
What time did you really finish?
Was she attentive the entire time? Was she conscious?
Did she suggest “extras” or house specials?
Did she fake it?
How the hell could you tell?
Did the hostess stop by during the sex to make sure everything was all right?
Were you mugged at this point?
Were you escorted out afterward and asked to return again?
What time did you actually leave the building?
Were you mugged at this point?
Would you recommend this whore to your friends?
Would you be willing to testify to that fact in a court of law?
Thank you for helping us out with this survey, and it is our hope that quality control such as this will help us continue to provide the very best adult entertainment in the tri-county area.