They’re actually pretty friendly, once you get to know them. Once you get past their defenses.
Yeah, it takes awhile for them to open up to new people, but I’m the same way sometimes.
And they’re so fascinating! I mean, the workmanship on the punji traps inside the front door alone is just amazing. They could have just used sharpened dowels or chair legs or something but no, they handcarved each stake into a thing of beauty. You just don’t see that kind of thing anymore.
The mustard gas was homemade, you can tell. There’s a richer, more layered scent to it that the stuff you get online never has. I’m guessing an old family recipe, am I right? Hello?
Oh, the snakes! I almost forgot about the snakes. I mean, you see the signs outside, you figure boas and ball pythons, right? They have an actual rhinoceros viper snake! She is a real beauty. Venomous as all hell, obviously, or what would be the point?
And I really liked how they keep things personal. No rifles through holes in the wall or anti-personnel mines that are just so distant, you know? Nope, right up close with a knife. Shows you care enough to do it yourself, with a knife.
Really good at knots, too. I can tell, since the fellows tied to the wall next to me clearly never got away. Looking a little skinny there, guys! Ha!
In fact, I’m pretty sure the chap next to me wearing most of a UPS hat is Gary. We’ve been wondering what happened to you, buddy! There’s a little too much acid damage to the name tag to tell for sure if it’s him but I’d recognize those molars anywhere. Hell of a smile, Gary had.
Has. Had.You know.
Which reminds me. Hello? Somebody? Could you let my dispatcher know I’ll be late? I don’t meant to be a bother but this kind of thing really throws off our whole schedule and I’d hate to do that to the guys. Hello?
Ah, well. Might as well make the most of it. Every day is a new adventure, am I right?
Hello? I don’t know if you were planning to feed me but I should tell you I’m avoiding gluten, if that’s not too much of a problem. Hello?
Oh, it’s the viper again. Hello, big fellow. Sorry I ran past before, nothing personal, I assure you. You have got absolutely beautiful markings!