Criminals are afraid. That’s the secret.
You never know when the cops will come by, or someone will start screaming, or your victim will be armed or jacked or just luckier than you. You never know when your partner might decide it’s easier to just take you out. You never know when the odds will catch up with you. They’re tense and they’re scared, all the time.
That’s why crimefighters like me — like I’m going to be — can win. They’re already strung out and then they see a muscular guy or girl in a costume, grinning, coming right at them? They run, man. Probably.
That’s why I’m stalking these alleyways at night. I’m ready. I want to make a difference. I want to fight crime.
I… I want to try an alleyway with a little more light.
That’s better. Now I can see what I’m doing. Wait’ll you see the look on their face when I leapĀ up and–
You know what? It’s still pretty dark here. I’ll bet I can find more criminals over there, under that well-lit sign by the bus stop.
Hmm.
I don’t see anybody.
It’s kinda cold out here. And still really dark. And I think I heard a mean dog.
You know the worst kind of crime? Online crime. Hackers and identity thieves and spammers and other people you can fight while you’re in your comfy jammies with some hot chocolate and maybe some music playing. I’ll get those bastards. It’ll be easy.
Criminals are afraid. That’s the secret.