Hidely ho, neighborinos! FOX has announced that the animated prime time show The Simpsons has been renewed for two more seasons, providing us with many more hilarious episodes of America’s favorite family that are guaranteed to be just as edgy and radical as they have been for the last 17 years.
In fact, I’ve managed — through means I can’t really discuss because I haven’t made them up yet — to find out the detailed plans for the next two seasons. And they’re even more wild and innovative than they’ve ever been before! Just look at the ground-breaking, never-before-seen episodes you can look forward to:
Homer becomes obsessed with whatever pop culture fad is hot at the time and takes it to a ridiculous extreme, dragging along the citizens of Springfield until it all crashes down on him.
Bart’s classroom prank goes too far and he gets kicked out of school.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about peer pressure and individuality.
Homer meets a celebrity and ruins his, her, or their lives while trying too hard to be friends. Wackiness ensues.
Marge starts a successful new career as something until Homer ruins it.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about the environment.
Homer is temporarily separated from Marge after they fight or he lets her down or someone comes between them. Fortunately, despite several wacky schemes to get her back, they finally reunite.
Moe changes Moe’s Tavern into some other sort of eating or entertainment establishment in an effort to renovate the place and get a different crowd of people. He goes back to his bar after Homer ruins his plans.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about family.
The Simpsons go to another city or state or country and get into trouble with the locals. They try to smooth it over but ultimately make things worse and are forced to flee.
Sideshow Bob’s scheme is foiled by those meddling kids.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about the government.
Grandpa Simpson/Moe/Barney/Principal Skinner/Mrs. Krabappel and/or Mr. Burns fall in love, but everything falls apart by the end.
Homer quits his job at the nuclear plant to start a new one despite Marge’s concerns.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about Christmas. Or maybe Bart does. Homer? No, it’s Lisa’s turn.
Selma almost gets married but, to her eventual gratitude, Homer ruins the ceremony.
Either Bart or Homer will make fun of FOX.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about tolerance.
The Halloween episode has one great segment, one OK one, and one filler. Also, Kang and Kronos make a token appearance.
Most of the episodes will end with abrupt non-sequiturs, as if the writers weren’t sure how to wrap them up either.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about the power of music.
Mr. Burns tries to amass power by abusing his employees and/or the people of Springfield but Homer ruins his plans.
Maggie runs away/is abandoned and wanders around by herself having adventures before she is finally found again.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about being a good sister.
After something bad happens, Homer realizes he doesn’t spend enough time with some member of his family and he must do something outrageous to win back their love.
Flanders will be mocked and inconvenienced, but will come out ahead in the end.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about religion.
Krusty the Clown’s show is cancelled, but with the help of Bart and Lisa he manages to make a triumphant comeback.
The Simpson home is somehow threatened and suffers damage that will disappear before the next episode.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about mortality.
Apu suffers a personal crisis and tries something new, but Homer ruins his plans.
Bart discovers a new interest but abandons it when his friends make fun of him.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about boys.
A ridiculous proposal will be passed by a cheering crowd at a Town Hall meeting, leading to chaos.
There will be one clip show, one flashback episode, one musical, and one episode that flatly violates continuity, just to aggravate the diehard fans who keep track of that stuff. Also, there will be one — and only one — episode that doesn’t leave everybody just the way they were at the beginning.
Lisa learns a valuable lesson about sweeps week.
And they’ll still be funnier than most of what’s on television. See ya next season!