“Saffron”
(Sung to “Lola” by The Kinks)
by J.M. Harmon
I met her late one night on the Triumph moon
At a big bonfire and party ’cause we got a job done
Yeah we got a job done
She gave me a hat that was made from a tree
The rest was a haze, I doubt I’d ever see that girl Saffron
That lovely girl Saffron
Sweet redheaded Saffron
Well the ship took off and to my surprise
I saw beside a crate a girl with downcast eyes: it was Saffron
That lovely girl Saffron
Well I asked her why she been stowed away
She said she was mine because her town couldn’t pay, I got Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Sweet redheaded Saffron
Well the crew all came to meet my bride
The poor scared girl just cried and cried
We looked it up and checked the law of course
But what did it say about a divorce?
Well we talked for a spell in the engine room
But if I won’t be her groom it’s a special hell to know Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Sweet redheaded Saffron
Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Sweet redheaded Saffron
She cooked me some bao
She warmed up my bed
She left me for dead
She took a shuttle away
Then Vera in a ‘suit done saved the day
I tracked her shuttle to a snowy moon
And I tried to talk but Would I kill her soon? asked my Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Guys love their wives and wives love their men
I’m not countin’ but I think nine or ten wed my Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Well I had her pinned down on the floor
And I’ve never had a weddin’ night before
But Saffron smiled and wriggled in my hands
And said Malcolm Reynolds hon, you’re quite a man
Well I’m not the Verse’ most gullible guy
So I knocked her unconscious and I left her behind, I left Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Sweet redheaded Saffron
Saffron
My lovely wife Saffron
Sweet psychotic Saffron
Saffron
She’s cold as ice Saffron
Don’t get hitched to Saffron
Saffron
You’d kiss her too Saffron
Articulate Saffron
Saffron
She’s dead crazy Saffron
She calls herself Saffron
Saffron
Or Bridget or Saffron
Yo-Saff-Bridge Yolanda
=========================
From the creator:
“Mine definitely was an evil laugh when I heard about the contest. Saffron’s probably my favorite character on the show. Hell, I’ve *dated* Saffron. She called herself Cat (“like the furry little animal with sharp claws and teeth”) but yeah, she was my sweet redheaded homicidal nymphomaniac. Definitely made life interesting. By coincidence Christina even looks like her a little, which makes the character a bit more alive and real, for me at least.
“So it was literally the moment Mal hit the floor that I knew I was in love with the show. Saffron’s dead on, and I could fully relate with Mal.
“It’s the shame Firefly was canceled because I think we would have seen a lot of the crazy redhead. You start to see in Trash how Mal would keep working with her in spite of his better judgment. Deep down a part of him thinks she’s fascinating and he’s even in love a little. She appeals too much to his sense of rugged individualism and independence. He’d also try to reform and rehabilitate the girl. And it’d totally drive the crew–Inara especially–bonkers in the process.
“And full props to Christina for handling the part so well.
“Anyway, we’re dealing with a woman who of course isn’t what she seems to be, and that’s just begging to be used with the song about perhaps the most famous one. It ‘s almost too obvious. The meter and structure were tricky, but I think I got it.”